I'm Not Martha

Some time ago, Jeff chided me over a blog post I had written. Not that it was anything really controversial, and honestly I can't remember what the topic was. I even think he said it in jest, but it really got to me. "They think you're Martha Stewart." Oh please, I said. I'm no Martha.

Maybe it was a post about the kids, in which case I made sure they looked somewhat clean and presentable. Truth be told, they are usually a mess from running around outside, or there's jam stuck to their cheeks, and half the time their bottoms are falling off because they Never. Stop. Moving.

Or it could've been a recipe post of some marvelous dinner or dessert I'd made that day. But let me assure you, there are days that the best I can do is make a box of Mac-N-Cheese with a side of chicken nuggets. No veggies at all. Because as important as it is to me that my kids eat well, life happens. Time has a way of killing the best of my intentions.

And even though I save a tremendous amount of money using coupons, occasionally I'll buy a full price steak just because I want to eat it. Cravings also have a way of messing with my intentions. I have moments of weakness. It's true.

That woman I present myself as? The positive, happy, spirited, snarky, me that you've gotten to know? Yup, that's part of me, but there's another side as well. I get discouraged. I cry. Actually, I cry a lot.

Lately it's been mostly over parenting issues. Maybe I look like super mom to you, but that isn't the case. I have two special needs kids that give me a run for my money. I have teens who keep me up at night worrying about their futures. I worry enough for both of my teens because I feel like they don't worry enough for themselves. Crazy, huh?

If you think I'm good at couponing and cooking, you'd be even more impressed with my skills at worrying. I'm an expert worrier.....

Will my kids grow up to be successful adults? What is successful?

Where am I going and how will I know when I get there?

Did I leave any type of favorable mark on the world (boy did I think on this 7 months ago in the hospital)?

Is my blog worth continuing? Does it even matter? (don't panic, all bloggers feel like this now and again)

Will I ever fit in my size 8 jeans again?

Will my kids ever learn to chew with their mouths closed? Eat with their elbows off the table? And what is so hard about putting the damn napkin on the lap? God, I hope they are civilized at other people's houses.

Are the kids trading their lunches for Twinkies?

Will Kraft cheese ever go on sale again?

Did I see a new wrinkle on my left eye this morning? What is that bump on my left butt cheek?? It wasn't there yesterday, was it?

When will I be able to walk on the sidewalk again? Spring is coming. I'm going to have to face this phobia or I'll never have a normal life again.

So, you see, not only am I not perfect, I'm not even close to normal. Today I'm supposed to be out coupon shopping like I do every other Sunday morning. It's part of my routine. But today I had a rough start.

Family issues, commitments, and other things that prohibited me from leaving the house this morning. All the while I was worried that I wouldn't have a Sunday couponing post up for you. And I guess that's a good thing. To show you that I'm not as together as you may think. Not by a long shot.

I'm not Martha. So please, keep that in mind when you see those beautiful food pics, those neat well dressed kids, all the products I get deals on, my smiling face. That it's only one slice of my life. One glimpse at that moment in time.

Know that there are tears, fears, and mistakes that are also part of this life I lead. Blogs have a way of making everything look glossy, don't they? Don't let that fool you. Behind every beautiful blog, there is a real person with real problems. I just wanted to make sure you know that.